Here's the current state of my brain after three weeks of being quarantined for coughing: you read "Chris Evans," you think "Christopher," then "Bustopher Jones," and suddenly, while watching "Cats" in a movie theater during the emotional climax of Jennifer Hudson's "Memory I came back with mascara dripping down my face, desperately trying to stifle my laughter as an audience member unceremoniously and soundlessly farted. Simpler times!

The obvious subtext of this anecdote is that Chris Evans posted two very cute photos of himself and his world-favorite rescue dog Dodger: "Two seconds later, he sneezed directly into my face," Evans tweeted. [opens in new tab] In a recent interview with Esquire (opens in new tab), Evans shared an introspective moment with Dodger, whom he calls "the perfect being" (I agree). 'He just sees. He doesn't try to process. The worst thing for a human being is to see a setting sun or something equally beautiful, and for a moment it's wonderful, but soon your brain is like, 'What does this have to do with me? And soon the splendor is gone."

"In Buddhism," Evans continued, "they say you need a boat to cross a river, but once you cross the river, you don't need a boat. 'This man is perfection. Look at him. This man is perfect. He just sits there and experiences what life has to offer. I wish I could be like that."

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