Even if you don't know Michelle Buteau, you've probably seen her over the past two decades. She played Cynthia, a New Yorker caught up in Jenny's meltdown in Someone Great; Trudy, a tour guide in Happiest Season (open in new tab); Sasha's sassy childhood friend-turned Veronica as an assistant-turned-teacher's assistant, and the feisty Bree Washington in BET's "The First Wives Club". More recently, you may have seen the Netflix standup special Welcome to Buteaupia, which boasts a cameo by Cardi B." I've done a lot of daytime TV shows and late-night standup, but people stop me from the 2013 Key and Peele sketch and say, "Are you the girl who was in that sketch and did that?" And I'll say, "Yes. Buteau told Marie Claire by phone from Atlanta, where the second season of "First Wives Club" was filming.

Whatever the reason people recognize Buteau, this charismatic, scene-stealing multi-hyphenate is still unsure if she's had her big break: according to her, it's a "good ass" question. According to her, it's a "good ass" question. We don't know what the executive has seen, so we don't know if it's standup, hosting, or just a little acting job."

In her new collection of personal essays, Survival of the Thickest (out today), she describes growing up as a Caribbean, Catholic, light-skinned black woman in New Jersey, her colorful collection of pick-ups, her newsroom to do comedy job, starting her standup career as a stripper front, her interracial marriage to Dutch husband Gijs van der Most, in vitro fertilization, surrogacy, and parenting, all of which she recounts.

A long-time underdog in the comedy world, the 43-year-old had been thinking about writing a book for about seven years, but was battling repeated self-doubts." But I was like, 'But I'm not a writer.'

"Singing karaoke doesn't make you a singer.

Her book was initially about self-acceptance and tentatively titled "Maintaining Chunky: A Thick Girl's Guide to Not Getting Fat." However, she felt that the theme was more like an essay and less like a book. Ultimately, she wanted to say more. She said, "Sometimes writing feels like a fart.

Buteau, who loves metaphors, likened finally naming her book to naming a baby: "You have to see the face first." The comedian speaks from recent experience. She gave birth to twins Hazel and Otis in 2019. Writing about her motherhood journey was cathartic and painful, but very necessary. 'Now, people like Meghan Markle and Chrissy Teigen (opens in new tab), who have a proper platform, people who the world sees and thinks they have it all together, are sharing the pain that all women go through (opens in new tab). ''And that's what it's all about,'' says Bouteau. 'And it's not just what straight couples go through in the surrogacy route. I've met many gay couples who have tried to start a family and were disappointed and traumatized."

"I've also met many gay couples who have been through the same process of trying to start a family and were disappointed.

Sharing the deeply personal moment of trying to conceive can be challenging, but she knows that if even just one less person feels alone, it is worth it.

"When I was going through it, I felt like I had no one," she recalls. Friends sent her books and offered unsolicited advice, but it wasn't what she needed. 'No one asked you. You are not Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil. I just need a hug. And "Are you okay?" she adds, "I'm sorry for what's happening to you.

Another topic the comedian found difficult to handle was her family. Says Buteau, "I want to be respectful, but I also need to tell my truth." She knew she had to be fair, but also honest with herself. Nevertheless, she is troubled by the fact that "print is final." "At Thanksgiving this year, her uncle, who is a priest, told me how much he was looking forward to getting the book: 'Oh, God. Is there any way I can give him this book that doesn't have a chapter on sex?'

After all, she is her own person. She is in her forties and this is her life as she lived it. (After all, she confidently joked about her foreskin in front of her mother on a Netflix special.) What she is not worried about are the exes she mentions in Survival of the Sickest. If you don't want to listen to me, listen to me. Goodbye, bitches. Your exes have their reasons. Get out. You can double tap my brilliance and keep it moving," she exclaims.

After all, she wants her books to be entertaining and fun, and she wants to "educate through love." If you have a weird body, an awkward adult or child, I want you to know that it can get better. Love yourself first, and then people will find their way. I want them to feel that self-acceptance is important."

In addition to the book, Bouteau will soon be appearing in another supporting role that will surely raise her profile even more: in 2021's highly anticipated rom-com "Marry Me" (opens in new tab), opposite Jennifer Lopez. Yes, she is more in awe of having spent time in J.Lo's presence than anyone else. 'Working with J.Lo was bananas,' she says. She's diverse, gorgeous, and bossy, like someone walking through an episode of Shark Tank." Reflecting on the case, Buteau was speechless, but being the Buteau she is, she is literally speechless. 'I don't have a single word. I don't have a single word. The comedian eventually settled on praising Lopez for knowing "her angle" and knowing "what everyone else should be doing."

Working with Lopez was an utter dream, but Buteau doesn't have a single definition of success. The moment she was able to quit her job and pursue comedy full time, she felt she had achieved her dream." I know my lane and I love, love, love stand-up, hosting, and acting, so I'm here forever." And any other victories that come her way "are just part of the journey."