Hey, did you know that the actress Angelina Jolie looks really pretty in some light? According to the "Guardian", this is the first thing you should know about her.

In the interview, Jolie discusses her decades of humanitarian work, her high-profile divorce from Brad Pitt, and her concerns about her children living in the public eye. There are also some rather striking allegations that Jolie claims to have made. While they were married, Brad Pitt allegedly approached her about distributing his films despite knowing about her traumatic experience with Harvey Weinstein. (Keep in mind that Angelina Jolie is one of the women who came forward publicly in 2017 about her horrific encounter with Weinstein, who was convicted of sexual assault and rape and is currently serving time (opens in new tab))

But her lips? Yo! And *checks notes* her posture? Avoga!

The first paragraph of the story goes like this:

Angelina Jolie sits at her desk, her back straight and imposing. Her features are cartoonishly beautiful - straight black hair, vertical cheekbones, huge blue eyes, plump red couch lips. She zooms in to talk to four young activists. The Taliban has just captured the city of Ghazni, which is close to the Afghan capital, Kabul. The Taliban have just occupied the city of Ghazni approaching Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan."

OK, who had "vertical cheekbones," "sofa-like lips," and "Taliban occupy Ghazni" on their first paragraph bingo card? Clearly someone has read all the descriptions of women by magazine writers in the 1990s!

Obviously, the Internet enjoyed poking at the oblivion of this headline:

And we should totally make fun of the men who still want to describe women as literal objects that you can buy at Raymour & Flanagan. But it is truly disappointing that someone as accomplished as Jolie can't even tell the truth about herself without starting the story with some creepy Wattpad prose about her attractive body. This woman has been through enough! Let's roll that tongue back in our heads, male writers, before we submit our manuscripts to the editor! Ugh, men. Let's not, let's not.